A friend asked me how I couldn’t enjoy Michael Jackson’s music.

It’s absolutely not that I don’t appreciate it. I think it’s great. I think it’s revolutionary. I can enjoy it, sometimes. I just don’t tend to add Michael Jackson songs to my playlists. Nor do I ever have days where I think “Oh, I want to listen to Michael today” like I do with many other artists or genres.

This conversation went deep and touched on who I am and what I believe.

Michael’s music is “too happy”. I’m not an inherently “happy” or “positive” or “optimistic” person generally. I absolutely can be, just not inherently. I think things trend toward the negative.

When I tell my friends or co-workers this, they are in disbelief because most people know me as a very positive, optimistic, “happy go lucky” kind of person. I think most of this comes from my naivety towards many things.

It’s hard to convey what I mean here. I think there are serious and significant improvements to life i.e., I think life is “better” now than thousands of years ago or even 50 years ago. Less diseases, better vaccines, better medicine, etc.

Hmm. I think it’s better for more people i.e., for the general population. The majority is happier now. I think — specifically in regards to some measure of “happiness” — the extremes or maxima are stablizing(?), shrinking(?), smoothing. Smoothing.

Is this because most things have gotten better and easier? So something as simple as finding a meal is no longer a euphoric experience?

I believe that people are inherently good.

I think there is something non-human related to entropy that causes humans to do evil things. Some higher-level concept or abstraction — like “humanity” or “the market” — that is abstracted enough to allow us to forget that we are dealing with other humans.

I’m going to read https://fs.blog/entropy/

I’m also not sure that the alternative of 100% perfect order is a system we’d want to live in though. Seems boring.

Do we have free will or are we experiencing something that was always gonna happen?

I don’t know. I tend to believe in partial free will. I think free will is quite complex. I don’t believe we are 100% free, but I believe we are more free than restricted.

I don’t know that I believe that the rest of time is going according to some grand plan that was already defined. Maybe it could be predicted. Maybe there are patterns that makes parts predictable. I don’t believe in a well-defined “plan”.

Are we in a simulation? The multi-verse?

I don’t know. I don’t find it interesting to think about because frankly I don’t care to know. I don’t think I’d want to live during a time where we understand this fabric and therefore could cross universes.

I recognize how small we are in relation to space. Like mindblowingly small.

Is morality something objective [internal; nature] or is it just an agreed social contract?

Hmm. I hadn’t thought of this. Probably more social contract. Probably related to that “abstraction” on top of humanity that also causes evil.

This is just how my mind works. I like writing it down to analyze how my definition of I (trigger Hofstadter) change over time.

I don’t know if any of my beliefs are “true” or “correct”. That’s just what they are.

I also believe that you should constantly challenge your beliefs. What you believe to be “true”.

This is really hard for me. I try to challenge my negative views. I have brief moments where my negativity feels unebelievable.

Then my friends asked

What do you think about [us]? What types of people do you think we are?

To which I first laugh. And joke that I should write a post to respond (which I am now doing because this turned into another good conversation).

i think that’s a loaded question honestly haha i dont think about other peoples’ beliefs. nor do i really care or judge people based on their beliefs. all i care about is kindness in other people and acceptance of differing beliefs. so i dont “think about ” like that. i just dont really care haha.

i like you guys haha youre fun to hang out with

which aligns with my belief in career (not that it’s the correct beliefs)

but i think we spend enough time of our life in a career that you should care about it. if you have other things you care more about, that’s awesome, i just dont know that feeling that much.

It’s like I’m talking to ChatGPT some times. So adverse to ruffling feathers

it’s not that my career is my favorite thing or strongest belief or thing i love the most, just something that i do care deeply about. it might be some deep belief in being kind over ruffling feathers. i dont think much good comes from negativity. yet i am negative.

i think there’s a social contract in the fabric of the universe that is partially upheld by not having these deep conversations though. these conversations are weird