I didn’t finish this book. The time wasn’t right. I made it a little over halfway through — page 388 to be exact — but stopped reading for the sake of my mental health.

I started 2021 having finished David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest and for the first time in many years enjoying fictional novels. Many folks mention Thomas Pynchon and Gravity’s Rainbow in the same vain that they mention David Foster Wallace and Infinite Jest, so I knew I wanted to read it. However, I wasn’t immediately ready to go from Infinite Jest to Gravity’s Rainbow and I wanted a shorter introduction to Pynchon before getting to Gravity’s Rainbow, so first I read The Crying of Lot 49. I enjoyed the challenge of the read. It required you as the reader to think so hard and pay such close attention. I was excited and thought I was ready for Gravity’s Rainbow. Turns out; I wasn’t.

We were on vacation at a resort in Cabo. Reading was the focus of my week. I was consumed by the book, reading for most of the days for the first half of the trip. But then something happened, I honestly don’t know what or why, but I turned inward and really started questioning why I enjoy the things I do, my purpose in life, what am working toward in life, etc. I ended up having a very serious anxiety attack that lasted multiple hours. While I’m in a much better place today, but still feel the effects of that day.

I don’t solely blame this book, but it isn’t a particularly uplifting book. I don’t think it was the right time to read this book. Primarily due to the state of politics, living through a global pandemic, my dad introducing a new girlfriend to the family and more. The time wasn’t right. I know timing is a huge factor in book choice and this further solidified that.